Thomas perched on a stool in front of the bar, idly watching people eating bees on some new show on TV. He silently wished someone would talk to him so that he wouldn’t have to order a drink.
His reverie was interrupted by the stool next to him being pulled back and a human body occupying it. He looked to his left to see an attractive young woman. She had cute, short brown hair and was smiling at him.
“Hi,” she said. “I’m Emily. Emily Birch.”
“Oh, hi,” he replied. “I’m Thomas. Elm.”
“Thomas Elm, huh? We’re both tree people!”
“Oh, shit,” he said. “You had to say it, didn’t you?”
“What? What did I say?” She looked at him bewilderedly.
“Things could have gone so well!” he cried as twigs began to sprout from his head. “I could have bought you a drink!”
“What are you talking about? What-” Her sentence was cut off as white bark crept over her mouth.
“Oh, fucking hell,” said the bartender, and walked out back to get the ax.
